pleasers vs. pleasees

i'm a people pleaser...although i do more than my fair share of displeasing people. in other words, i have a tendency to feel guilty if i don't please. but for those who are the pleasees and the guiltdrivers, i think they are forcing more burden on themselves than the pleasers because they waste the extra energy on manipulating and pushing guilt onto others. i'm talking in particular about those who feel their needs should be met or understood without actually telling you their true feelings. we are not mindreaders and should not feel guilty for not apologizing for something we didn't even know happened or didn't happen. if we want someone to know our feelings, we need to actually speak them. all we can go on is what someone tells us. if someone is offended and doesn't actually vocalize it, just acts it, we should not stress about what we could have possibly done wrong. i've learned since being married to my husband, although i'm not fully able to do it, that if someone is going to falsely tell me they're fine, even though their voice tells me otherwise, to go on as if it is fine...since that is what they told me. so next time you feel bad about something and you want someone to feel sorry for it or change it, come out and tell them how you feel...it's the best way to fix things.