...the next chapter

i called my friends that raise rats, snakes, mice and dogs and asked them what i should do with these suffering little babies. they said they have this stuff that you put in a container with them and it puts them to sleep and they die (they work in a rat lab). so i was going to go get some from them when they called back and said they'd feed them to their hungry snake. so i took them...in a girl scout thin mints box... to feed to their snake. and the snake lived happily ever after.

so it turns out, i'm not just a rat killer...i'm a mother rat killer. a baby was out looking for its mom tonight. it was so new, it's eyes weren't even open yet. i asked my husband to take it to the curb. then, after taking my daughter out to see it, i told him he could put it in front of the exhaust fumes for a few minutes to kill it. he asked if we could put it in a cage and feed it a bottle. i explained to him we're trying to get rid of the rats, not save them. so they decided to take it to the field and try to give it a chance. but by the time they got outside to take it, it had already died. so now is the quest to find the rest of the nest before they stink up the garage with their little bodies. anyone want to come clean out my garage? i'll even let you keep the little rodents.

later...i just went out and found the nest of two more babies, crying. i accidentally crushed the back legs of one and so he was dragging himself around and the other was barely alive. next to them was the skeleton of their mother, i assume. they must have been living off of her body. i don't think i'm going to sleep very well tonight. i better take extra sleeping pills tonight. i can't wait to tell you about my dreams tomorrow.

the joy of killing rats

lately we've had a bit of a rat problem. the pest control guy placed bait packets inside each side of the garage door. well, it's been working...on the mice. we've had about 4 dead mice in the rose garden in the past week and a half. although, grateful that i had not personally encountered a rat, i was a bit bummed out that we were not killing them...at least any that we'd found. so yesterday, when we were heading out to run errands, my daughter walked around to the driver's side of the car and said, very calmly, "uh, mom...there's a rat and it's alive". i rushed over to shove her away, since her curiosity always seems to take over and a rat on poison just does whatever. the electrician working on the pool across the street came walking towards us at this time and i asked him if he could help me with a rat. i handed him a shovel and he picked it up and threw it on the curbside lawn of our neighbors. it died very shortly after that, leaving their lawn guys to clean it up today. i was a little jittery from coming face to face with a live rat, but ecstatic about killing one. i'm all for lab testing on rats...they can have mine.

after a very exhausting day with children, my daughter discovers little bugs crawling around the living room. i don't think much of it until she later finds them swarming in the kitchen. I then find that they are even more abundant in the laundry room. so after an hour of trying to kill all the bugs and clean them up i was "sweating like a pig", except i really was sweating. after putting the girls to bed i found more and more of what i find out are actually rice weevil and unkillable. they have a little horn and a hard shell. so no matter how hard you smash them with a shoe, they don't die. raid is my best friend today. and this is what my new pets look like (i've got extra if anyone else needs a friend):

if i believed satan created anything on this earth...which i most certainly do not...i would believe these to be his creation.